Episode 10: How to Actually Find Your Purpose (When You Feel Lost or Behind in Life)

Have you ever found yourself thinking…
 “What’s my purpose?”
“Why do I still feel so lost when I’ve done everything I was supposed to do?”
If so—this episode is for you.

In this honest, heart-led conversation, I’m diving into what it really means to feel “behind” in life—and why that feeling might actually be a sign you’re evolving. You’ll hear parts of my personal journey, the pressure I felt to have it all figured out, and how I eventually found purpose in the most unexpected way.

💡 In this episode, you’ll learn:
 ✨ Why feeling lost is not a failure
 ✨ The 4 steps to actually uncover your purpose (without the pressure)
 ✨ Why your purpose isn’t something you “find,” but something you remember
✨ How to reconnect with your voice, your values, and your vision
✨ What to do when you feel like you’re falling behind in life
✨ And how to stop chasing clarity and start trusting your own path

🔍 Perfect for listeners searching for:
 #FindYourPurpose #FeelingLost #PersonalGrowthForWomen #MidlifeAwakening #HealingJourney #YouAreNotBehind #SelfDiscovery #SelfWorth #PurposeDrivenLife #EvolvingWithTina #WomenWhoRise

📩 Got a story to share? Email me: talk@evolvingwithtina.com
📱 DM me on Instagram: @theevolutionoftina

💬 Challenge of the week:
 Take 5 minutes today to ask yourself:
 What lights me up? What drains me?
Your purpose might be hiding in the answer.

🛎 Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and hit the bell so you never miss an episode!

Much love,
 Tina 💋

Transcript

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Hey fellow evolvers, welcome back to Evolving with Tina. If you're new here, this is the space where we keep it real, raw, and honest. I'm not here because I've got it all figured out. I'm here because I don't. I'm still evolving, still healing, and still learning how to choose myself every damn day. And maybe you are too, because growth, it's not a one-time thing. It's messy, beautiful, exhausting, and confusing all at once. Some days we're thriving and other days we're just barely getting by. But through it all, I want you to know you're not alone. I'm right here with you. Because this space is for the women who show up for themselves even when it's hard. The ones who are tired of settling, who are craving something deeper, more fulfilling, but just can't put it into words. It's for the women who are done pretending they're fine even when they're not, who are ready to just stop existing and finally start living. So if you've been feeling lost, behind, or like everyone else has it figured out about you, I made this episode just for you. So grab your favorite drink, get comfy, and let's get into it. Because today we're talking about one of the biggest questions we all ask ourselves at some point. What is my life's purpose and how do I find it when I feel completely lost? Have you ever caught yourself spiraling down the I should be further ahead by now tunnel? Like we're scrolling through social media thinking she's got it all figured out. Her dream job, her perfect partner, her five year plan. Meanwhile, like I'm over here just trying to figure out what the hell I'm doing with my life. Yeah, I've been there more than once. And if I'm being honest, I still find myself slipping into that headspace from time to time because that pressure to have it all figured out it's loud it's constant and it can make you feel like you're somehow falling behind in the race that you didn't even sign up for But here's what I've learned. Your purpose isn't something you stumble across like a $5 bill in your coat pocket. It's not tucked inside a title or a picture-perfect plan someone else sold you. Your purpose is something you feel. It's the moments when you feel a spark, when you lose track of time, when you feel most like yourself, when something deep inside you whispers this. This is what I meant to be doing. But the truth is, if you're like most women, you've spent so long being everything for everyone else that you don't even know what lights you up anymore. You've been so busy surviving, so focused on doing the right thing that you haven't even had space to even ask yourself, what do I want? And that's where the confusion creeps in. That's where the lost feelings start to begin. First of all, just let me say this loud and clear. If you feel lost, it doesn't mean you've failed and it surely doesn't mean that you've missed your chance. It simply means that you've reached a point where your old life, the roles you're playing, the And now your soul is asking for more, more meaning, more alignment, more you. You've been sold this lie that your purpose is a job title or a passion that magically reveals itself when the time is right. Like if you just wait long enough, some booming voice from the sky will say, congratulations, here is your purpose. Yeah, no, that's not how it works. Your purpose isn't out there in some magical aha moment. It's actually like in you right now. It's the thing that gives you energy. It's the conversations that leave you buzzing for more. It's the moments when you forget to check your phone because you're so in the zone. Purpose isn't about pushing harder or thinking your way into clarity. It's about feeling your way there. Noticing when your energy expands, when you come alive, when something clicks and you think I could literally do this all day. That's your compass. That's your clue. And most of us miss it because we're just way too busy chasing someone else's version of success. for so many years I was trying to find my purpose like it was some hidden treasure I had to uncover I just kept thinking there would be this like big sign or a magical moment where everything would just click and I'd finally know like ah there it is that's my purpose right there but the crazy part I was already living it I just didn't realize it because it didn't look like what the world told me it should my purpose for a long was being a mom to raise my boys into good kind loving men to show up for them to love them hard and to give them a solid foundation that was my entire world and it mattered And I want to say this to any woman listening who feels like you should be doing something bigger with your life. Don't overlook what you've already done. Mothering is purpose. Loving people well is purpose too. Getting up every day and showing up even when no one claps for you, that's purpose too. But here's what I've also realized. Purpose isn't just one thing you do forever. It shifts as you evolve It grows with you. There came a point when my boys didn't need me in a way that they did before. And that's when I started to feel lost again because I had wrapped so much of my identity around being a mom that I totally forgot what I wanted. So again, I went searching, this time with a little more wisdom, but still not knowing what was next. Then something unexpected happened. I started having real, honest conversations with women about healing growth boundaries self-worth all the things that I was going through and something in me just lit up like really lit up I could feel it in my chest in my voice in my energy and that's when I knew I knew that helping women come back to themselves reminding them that they're not alone creating this space where we can all evolve together that's my purpose and And no, that shift didn't happen overnight. It was a process. It's still a process. It's slow, scary, and sometimes even messy, but it feels like you're coming home to yourself in a weird sort of way. Like I've tried so many things. I've dabbled in a bunch of different areas, but this feels authentic. This feels like me. And the more that I keep stepping into this new version of myself, the more I start to look back and realize something all those years I felt behind or confused it wasn't because I didn't have a purpose it was because I'd been taught to look for it in all the wrong places I didn't think that being a mom could be like a purpose which is so crazy because you're raising these little humans who you're going to send off into the world and why is that not considered a purpose I The crazy thing is we've been fed this narrative about purpose that's honestly kind of toxic. So let's talk about that. We've been taught that purpose has to look big, flashy, impressive. Like it only counts if it comes with a title, a hefty paycheck, or a perfect curated like Instagram bio. Like we're praised for chasing hustle and productivity, but nobody claps when you choose the We've been sold this story that if you're not building an empire, launching a business or changing the world on a global scale, then you must not have found your purpose yet. And that's just not true. The truth, purpose doesn't always scream. Sometimes it's a whisper. Sometimes it looks like being a safe space for someone else. Sometimes it's creating beauty or speaking up or slowing down. And sometimes it's just doing the next right thing with love and intention. But we miss it because we're way too busy looking for something that feels big enough to impress other people. We ask ourselves, what will people think if I quit my job that I worked so hard to get? Is this really it? Should I be doing more, like making more, proving more? But your purpose was never meant to be a performance, okay? It's meant to feel like home. And if that's not fulfilling you, if it feels draining, heavy, or like you're constantly forcing it, that's not your purpose. That's just your conditioning. Once I realized that so much of what I believed about purpose was based on what the world expected from me, I let go of the version of me that was built for everyone else. And clarity came flooding in, not because I was chasing it harder, but because I finally slowed down and got honest with myself. So if you've been wondering, okay, great, but how do I actually figure this out? Let's talk about that because finding your purpose isn't about doing more it's about coming home to yourself here's the truth your purpose isn't hiding from you it's just waiting for you to stop running in circles long enough to hear it and the fastest way to start hearing it pay attention to what feels like life seriously I know that sounds weird but that's where it begins so here's a few simple questions powerful questions to ask yourself not to overthink it but just to explore okay so one when do you feel most energized like think about the moments that make time fly when you feel like you not when you're trying to impress or perform but when your energy feels light open and expansive two What do people come to you for naturally? Like, is there some sort of advice that you give, support? Like, is it just a safe space for them to vent? Maybe some creative ideas, encouragement? Most of the time, your purpose shows up in the ways you effortlessly serve others without even realizing what you're doing. Three, what could you talk about for hours without getting bored? The stuff you just can't stop thinking about all or the things that light you up when you explain them to other people? What are the conversations that leave you buzzing with energy? And four, what have you overcome that you now feel called to help others? Sometimes your deepest wounds become your greatest wisdom. Purpose often lives in the places where you've had to fight to heal. And here's the thing no one tells you. Your purpose might not come with like a step-by-step manual. You might not have that one grand calling. You might have seasons, shifts, evolutions, okay? That doesn't mean you're lost. It means that you're growing and that's a sign that you're on the right path. Purpose rarely arrives in like a lightning bolt, okay? More often it's quiet. It's like a gentle nudge, a subtle shift, a whisper that grows louder every time you stop ignoring it. So it can be in the moment of energy. It can be an instinct that you finally trust and take action with. It can be the truth you finally say out loud. Start there. Now I know what you might be thinking Tina this all sounds great but I still feel behind like I've wasted so much time like I should have this all figured out by now if that's you please listen closely okay feeling behind is one of the most painful lies we tell ourselves and it's almost always rooted in comparison comparison to timelines we didn't choose to lives we didn't even want to people who are just as unsure as we are but know how to make it look good on social media everyone's high reel is out there just keep that in mind here's what I want you to know You are not behind. You're on your timeline. You're on your own path. And everything you've been through, even the detours, the heartbreaks, the jobs that drained you, the relationships that broke you, the years you were just surviving, all of that is what's shaping you, okay? It's preparing you. You weren't wasting time. You were gathering wisdom. You were building resistance, okay? You were becoming the version of you who is ready, ready to choose herself, ready to step into something more. And let me be real with you for a minute. Purpose doesn't come with a deadline. You don't age out of it. You don't miss your shot just because you took a time the ones who've lived and struggled and risen again they're the ones with the most powerful purpose of all so if you're sitting here thinking I should be further ahead by now let me lovingly call it out for what it is bullshit okay you're not late you're just getting started So here's what I want you to take from this episode. You don't need to chase your purpose. You just need to start paying attention to what already lights you up. You don't have to have it all figured out today. You don't need to have like a perfect plan, the perfect timing or permission from anyone else. You just need to stop abandoning yourself long enough to listen. Your purpose might be raising babies or starting a business. It might be creating, teaching, healing, leading, loving, or holding space, or simply just growing into the woman you were always meant to be. And you know what? It might evolve again and again as you evolve. So just remember this. You haven't missed your moment. You're not too late. You're not behind. You are becoming in every quiet act of courage, okay? In every moment you choose yourself, even when no one claps for you. You're allowed to evolve, okay? You're allowed to change your mind, pivot. You're into new ones and just because your path doesn't look like hers or whoever else's it doesn't mean it isn't powerful this isn't about chasing some polished version of yourself or some sort of success this is about coming home to you the real you the whole you the one who's always been worthy even in her messiest seasons okay so take a breath let go of the pressure to get it right and try Trust that if something no longer feels like purpose, it's not a failure, okay? It's a sign that you're growing. That version of you served her purpose. Now it's time to meet the next phase of you. As we come to the end of this episode, I want you to know you're allowed to grow beyond who you've been. You're not stuck. You're becoming. The next level of you is waiting and she's so damn proud you made it this far. So if this episode hit home, if it felt like I was talking right to you, I'd love to hear about it. And if you know a woman who needs this message, send it to her because we rise faster when we rise together. So if you know a woman who needs this message, So until next time, my beautiful evolvers, keep evolving, keep glowing, and never stop showing up for yourself because you matter. Much love.